“DOUBT KILLS MORE DREAMS THAN FAILURE EVER WILL” –Suzy Kassem
Special Guest Post by Ahlam Duale.
Too often we allow self-doubt to prevent us from spreading our wings and reaching our full potentials. It is a destructive way of thinking and it sabotages our life in more ways than one. Today, I’m sharing 6 ways I personally have overcome my own self-doubt and hopefully it can help you guys as well.
1. No excuses.
Whenever we feel overwhelmed or incapable we make excuses for why an opportunities wasn’t a good fit for us. Think of all the wonder opportunity you turned down. What were the reasons behind it? What was it you told yourself about who you are or your abilities? Identify the excuses you make and acknowledge that they form a mental barrier that hold you back
2. Check your inner circle
We are who we associate with. If five of your friends have a negative outlook on life then there’s no way you’ll remain positive or optimistic about the future. Ask yourself what types of people do you spend the most time with? What effect do they have on you? Does your inner circle make you feel better about yourself and life in general? If the answer is no then it’s time to move on to a better crowd.
3. Know thyself
Knowledge of Self is the most powerful arsenal you have. The root of all self-doubt is not fully understanding the Self and letting others fill it in for you. Anything that is learned over the years can be unlearned by putting in effort. You can re-write your personal story by replacing the lies you tell yourself with new found truths of the Self.
4. I like “Me”
While it’s easy to extend compassion to others, very few people are able to do the same for themselves. Be kind to yourself, whether it’s about the exterior and the not so nice things you say to yourself when looking into the mirror or when you beat yourself up over an honest mistake. When you fail at something it’s important to distinguish the failure and who you are as a person. Failure is an event not a person.
5. Validation is for parking
Seek other people’s validation and you’ll be waiting forever. Input from others can be helpful but it should never weaken your faith in your own decisions. Basing your work on feedback from others can lead to losing your own voice. Advice is great but in the end you should always do what feels right to you.
6. Less talking, more doing
As hard as it may be never talk about a project you’re still working on. By announcing your future goals you’re setting yourself up to be criticized before your project is even finished. This adds to any self-doubt you already may have. One of my favorite Ted Talks of all time is by Derek Sivers on keeping your goals to yourself. He discussed how talking about future goals tricks our minds into believing we’ve already done it and the goal has already been accomplished. The satisfaction we feel by telling others takes away our motivation to go out there and actually make it happen. Keep your goals to yourself, execute them all, and repeat!
Thoughts & light,